Here are your responses to "You Can't Date Me If..." It seems that their are a lot of unemployed, immature, smoking, non-animal lovers out there. If you have more to add, leave additional comments at the bottom of the page!
YOU CAN'T DATE ME IF...
you can't keep a job.
You are into Life action role playing.. lol
you don't have a job.
you can't like/love me for me
You can't date me if you wear wrangler jeans!!
You let your family control your life.
If u drive a chevy
Assume that ill pay for everything
If you are selfish.
If you're attracted to men too!
if you play World of Warcraft
You can't date me if you bitch all the time, and also you can't date me if you date other women
You can't hold ur own ..I.e. Home ..car..job.
you don't think dave ryan is sexy
play too much Call of Duty.
Live with your parents
u have gross feet
You can't date me if you order milk at a bar. No lie; it happened to me once.
Your ex has a gps tracker installed on your phone
If you were to much makeup.
You can't drive yourself around
If you like small butts
If you don't got a car!
You have a OMG moment every split second.
You don't LOVE dogs!
if you can't spell correctly and don't know the difference between their, they're, and there.
you wear too much makeup and constantly compare yourself to other girls
can't keep a job, live with ur parents (short term ok), ex girlfriend drama, no car, bad teeth, dont go down, cheat, lie..
If you don't love kdwb!! :)
If you have smaller boobs than me... just saying LOL
You can't date me if your not crazy fun!!!!
You cant date me ifyou don't accept me for me.
You still get perms and dress like you're from the 90's. So unattractive.
You can't date me if you wear makeup - What kind of woman thinks thats sexy?? Not me!
You can't date me if you can't agree to disagree. Fights are natural but if you won't at least hear my point and respect it then you aren't mature enough for me.
If you have more cats then family members.
If you refer to your cats as your kids.
If you can't act your age!
If you always play the victim, ugh...
You are not my husband.
You don't pay your child support
If you're a terrible parent and your kid is a brat!
You drink until you're drunk every weekend!
you dont have a job or a license
You b*tch constantly about your ex
-You can't hold down a job
-You never see your kids
-You are a couch potato
-You live with your parents
You bitch & nag all the time! Just stfu already! :)
You can't date me if more than half your pictures have fish faces
if you are egocentric and act like a dick
You can't date me if your feet and hands are bigger than mine, or if you are not my girlfriend.
if you have so many std's, not even the doctor knows the names of them all! :)
You can't date me if you don't have any self-confidence
if you think hunting is the most important thing in life.
If you're a Republican!
if you are more dramatic than I am....
If you don't wear deodorant
You can't date me if the liqour store employees know you by name
if you can't balance or don't have a check book.
-dont own a vehicle
-cant hold a steady job
-refuse to grow up and be an adult. You can have fun, just be responsible.
All of the above.
You can't be romantic sometimes.
you don't have a job.
You can't date me If you don't listen to KDWB, any other radio station won't do.
If you let your mother control your love life!
If you like anything that has to do with Twilight.
You chew with your mouth open.
You don't work out.
You live with your parents.
I really could go on and on, thank God I'm married! :)
If you ever call any woman a bitch.
If you lie or are seeking a bootie call.
If you wear more makeup than I do..not attractive on guys
You have cheated before, don't have a job
Been in jail, don't have a license, don't have a car, live with your parents.... List goes on and on
If you are cheap.
if you use the word "seen". ie I seen it at the store. dealbreaker...
If you aren't faithful.
If you don't Have a job.
If you don't Have a car.
If you don't have your own place.
If you smoke cigarettes.
cant love me 4 me
If you don't use proper grammar and spelling
if you find Eddie Murphy funny.
If you smoke/chew; if you're bad with your money; if you have a criminal background; if you laugh like a serial killer; if you're rude to servers at restaurants; if you don't bathe.
If you are close-minded or blissful in your ignorance! :)
If you don't have: friends, a job, vehicle, ambition, loyalty, AND a sense of humor. It would help if you were nice looking, knew how to spell, and didn't wear a 20-year old cartoon T-shirt to meet my mother. LMAO
If you are obsessed with porn!
If you own any Ashton Kutcher movie
if you do drugs n drink to much
If you have a DWI, drink and drive, refuse to grow up, have no ambition to do anything with your life
If u are obsessed with ryan cabrera!
If you have a hairy snatch........
If you're bald! Sorry baldies, I like hair!
If you b*tch that your broke but go to the casino every weekend.
If you like NASCAR or wear any of that paraphenelia
have more than one cell phone, and neither one is for business...
If you don't like animals!
If you wear socks with sandals. Come on now!!
If you grunt while lifting at the gym, wear anything Ed Hardy or Affliction, or look in the mirror more than I do!
If I hear "why?" more than twice a day!!! Why do you listen to this? Why did you park here? Why are you eating that? THATS IT!!
As the Great Lena Svenson said, "If you smoke/chew; if you're bad with your money; if you have a criminal background; if you laugh like a serial killer; if you're rude to servers at restaurants; if you don't bathe."
I totally agree with Lena and with Nicole Mudrak....I'd also add, if you lie and if you kids that you dont disclose , spend time with or support.
You just can't date me. (:
If you are married -- forgot your were married -- forgot to tell me your were married -- kind of
married (aka not yet divorced) -- married -- this post is dedicated to all the single ladies in my life who run into this dating snafu all too often -- I am in fact married but when I was single BTDT-- gross
If you are skinnier than me!!!
U cant date me, if u dont like the Dave Ryan in the morning on KDWB...
if you say "like" in every sentence.
You can't date me if you're still hung up on your ex....
Cheat. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
YOU CAN'T DATE ME IF...
-X-You smell like smoke. (That is really unattractive.)
---You don't take care of your teeth.
-X-You bitch all the time. (I get enough of that from my mother)
if you try pinching my butt before introducing yourself to me.
if you live by the phrase "bros before hoes".
If you argue over every...single...little...thing.
Because your breathe stinks! Biggest turn off.
youve been to jail befor!
If your a ginger or pick your nose
You can't date me...well yes you can...I'll take what I can get.
you wear clothes from 80's like zuba's and wife beaters!
Unless you have had your job for 5 years or more! I'm sick of mooch ass men!! WTF you have arms and legs that work just fine! Get an effin job!
If he has no idea there is more than one application of cologne per bottle. Also; No job, No car=No shot. As well as, must, at least tolerate, dogs.